I'm starting to think I should just not talk to my oldest anymore. It always starts off nice, like hey how's it going and then by the time we are done I'm either pissed off or crying or both.
I swear she finds something to rattle my cage every time I talk to her. I wonder if she just waits until I seem relaxed so that she can fuck up my day.
Today she tells me that her and her girlfriend are getting MARRIED next year. In Washington DC. Because gay marriage is not legal in the state that she lives in probably.
So how am I supposed to react to this? I know I should be all HAPPY but FUCK NO I'm not happy. I'm pissed OFF. And sad and depressed.
Which I know make me a horrible person, but who really wants their 20 year old daughter to get married, even if it was to a man? Definitely not me. I so wanted so much more for my kids.
I guess it was too much to want them to go to college, get a degree, a good job, and then you know, marry someone of the opposite sex so that some day when I'm old I could have some grandkids.
All that shot out the window. Now we've got a kid that moved across the country, is gay, works a crappy retail job and because I flipped the fuck out IS still taking a couple college classes ONLINE. The girlfriend is not going to college and is perfectly ok with working retail for the rest of her life making a couple more bucks than minimum wage.
Yes I know it could be worse. She could be strung out on drugs living in the street and I not even know where she is. Or sick or dying or something. Yes I should love her no matter what. Yes I know all that. And I do, I really do love her but is it too much to ask to just talk about the weather and some non deep issues that make me cry and eat puffed Cheetos I found in the top of the cupboard?
