Weird things that have happened lately.
My step brother's house caught on fire.
I only found out about this because my other brother works down the street from the house (they aren't related at all) and sent me a text telling me. I sent my step mom a text asking if step brother was ok and she never responded. I sent step brother a text and got no answer. Eventually it was Father's Day and I called my Dad and he pretty much told me he didn't want to talk about it. He did say that he was ok and wasn't living with him.
Taking things into my own fingers I hit the www and looked up arrests in our county and there he was. Something about domestic abuse with serious injury and a bunch of other charges, some of which where vague and probably meant he beat up his girl friend and set the house on fire.
Now I don't know about you but I think that it would have been nice to find out what happened from a family member instead of having to assume things on my own.
Just one more time that I'm reminded that I'm not really apart of their family.
In other news, my cousin's baby momma (other side of the family but equally as charming) sent me a message to call her last weekend. When I called her it sounded like she was talking with her phone in her mouth but I got out something about her little boy being sexually abused by an 8 year old and that she wanted to have him spend more time with family.
So on Monday her little boy was over playing with my mom and I went over there for a bit. She was off running an errand to the bank but got there after I was only there for a few minutes. Apparently she's worried about something happening to her and no one being there to take care of her son. She's worried about him going into foster care if someone (gang member dad) knocks her off for reporting their 8 year old for sexually assaulting her 3 year old.
Sadly I was happy she asked my mom before she asked me because how do you say no to something like that? But I really don't want to raise another kid. Mine are finally at the age where they ignore me unless they want food or money. I have no problems with being an auntie but stand in mom sounds like too much work. Of course I'd do it if I had to, but lets just hope that no one takes her out.
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Growing Pains
I used to feel really sorry for people that didn't have children. They just didn't know what they were missing I thought. That amazing bond you have. The smell of your new baby in your arms. The proud moments through out their little lives.
Of course there's the long nights where they don't sleep, the feeling that your nipples are going to fall off any second and the tormenting threes (so much worse than the twos).
But then, then there is the heart breaking twenties. WHY did I never know about these years? The years where you have to sit back and watch your kids take their lives in their own hands. The years where you sit back and scream NO DON'T MAKE THAT MISTAKE I MADE!!!
The year where you cry in the car all the way home from work because your child is never going to have that life you dreamed of. The college degree, the good job, the college educated and well employed handsome husband that puts up with her shit and loves her unconditionally. The babies that would come some day after she's started a career that allows her to take time off work to take care of her baby. Retirement, benefits that are worth something and paid vacation time. We might as well thow in the pretty yellow house with the picket fence to complete the daydream.
NEVER in my wildest dreams did I think I'd be pleading for my kid to just take one college class. I know you think you'll take classes next year but I know next year will never come. NEVER did I think my child would move hours away let alone ACROSS THE COUNTRY for her lesbian lover with the gauged ears who has dropped out or failed out of college four times. NEVER did I think that she'd be working retail and think that's the future.
I may be dying inside a tiny bit. AGAIN. I know it's not about me. I know it's her time to grow up and make her own decisions. I know.
But I can't help but mourn all those things I hoped for in the future and I know will never be.
Of course there's the long nights where they don't sleep, the feeling that your nipples are going to fall off any second and the tormenting threes (so much worse than the twos).
But then, then there is the heart breaking twenties. WHY did I never know about these years? The years where you have to sit back and watch your kids take their lives in their own hands. The years where you sit back and scream NO DON'T MAKE THAT MISTAKE I MADE!!!
The year where you cry in the car all the way home from work because your child is never going to have that life you dreamed of. The college degree, the good job, the college educated and well employed handsome husband that puts up with her shit and loves her unconditionally. The babies that would come some day after she's started a career that allows her to take time off work to take care of her baby. Retirement, benefits that are worth something and paid vacation time. We might as well thow in the pretty yellow house with the picket fence to complete the daydream.
NEVER in my wildest dreams did I think I'd be pleading for my kid to just take one college class. I know you think you'll take classes next year but I know next year will never come. NEVER did I think my child would move hours away let alone ACROSS THE COUNTRY for her lesbian lover with the gauged ears who has dropped out or failed out of college four times. NEVER did I think that she'd be working retail and think that's the future.
I may be dying inside a tiny bit. AGAIN. I know it's not about me. I know it's her time to grow up and make her own decisions. I know.
But I can't help but mourn all those things I hoped for in the future and I know will never be.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)